Wednesday, May 8, 2019

ARE YOU THERE, GOD? IT'S ME, MANDI.


Although there have been lessons worth learning along the way, there have certainly been seasons that felt much more like the wilderness than the Promised Land. I have had more questions than answers, and my hands hold more unknowns than certainties. But somewhere in the desert, somewhere in between what once was and what will be, I started to ask a familiar question in a new way.

Are you there, God?

In John 11, in the midst of her deep sadness and disappointment, frustration and confusion, Jesus comes and Mary asks, “Where were You?” In other words, Why didn’t You come sooner? Where were you in all of this? Why didn’t You change this, prevent this, fix this, heal this? Where were you 
when I needed You?

I admit, I’ve asked those things. I’ve wondered where He went and why His timeline differs so greatly from my own. I’ve walked laps around hospital hallways, I've met people who are deeply hurting, some deeply wounded by fellow Christians, I've seen hungry children, and I’ve said heartbreaking goodbyes. I recently found more cancer in my body, which I've attempted to ignore while fighting against the message He gave me to share.

Like Mary, I’ve asked why.

I’ve asked why plenty of times. Now, I’m learning instead to ask where.

When I look back over the book He’s written for me, flip through the pages and consider the chapters I’ve lived, there’s one constant running through: His presence.

When I look back on each season, I see a hundred reasons to believe that He really can work all things for good. This is my story and my song, and I’m trusting that He isn’t done working and declaring that as I’m waiting. He’s here, present and good, faithful and kind in every valley and on every mountaintop and every step in between.



1 comment:

  1. Your story and your song is beautiful. I'm so thankful for you!

    ReplyDelete

I am incredibly grateful for your comment! I will respond as soon as possible. XOXO, Mandi

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