Tuesday, October 23, 2018


A while back, I read a parenting article and was challenged by this question: ‘Do your eyes light up when your child walks into the room?’

Gah, I wanted to say "yes!" But honestly, like most busy moms, there have been seasons in our lives that my kids couldn't even see my eyes when they walked in the room because I was doing something like dishes, dinner, talking on the phone or working on my computer. 

But what if I got intentional about less doing and more looking? What if I made sure I was off the computer and waiting for them to get home? What if I blocked out 30 mins to be fully present in those parts of the day. The article said kids perceive how important they are to us by the way we pay attention to them, and that eye contact is key, because it makes our kids feel secure and confident.

So, ever since, I’ve been trying to make eye contact when my kids get home from school or work. When they ask me a question, I'm trying really hard to stop what I’m doing, look ‘em in the eyes and answer. And I don't mean one-word answers so I can get back to what I was doing. I'm talking about open-ended conversations with no end in sight. Sometimes laughter ensues. Other times, a hug is warranted. And I'm realizing it matters. Some days, my 16-yr old, Bailey, comes home from school and we process things for a whole hour. The teen years are hard, sure, but sometimes they just need us to 'see' them.

Help me not miss this truth. Unrush me. Remind me that my people - big and small- perceive how important they are to me by the way I pay attention to them.Amen

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