Tuesday, July 9, 2013


You grow as you sleep. I know because I see it happening, helpless to keep you as my baby forever. I imagine you’re a little uprooted tree with legs like roots, arms like branches, fingers like twigs and a crown of platinum blonde hair like a nest.

Every day you sleep and every day you grow. I miss the tenderness of my once newborn, but mostly I revel in the tiny person you are becoming. So fascinated by the world and wild with joy.

Sometimes you cry a tired, heart-breaking cry with your arms stretched out toward me, sobbing ‘mama, mum, mum’ and i cradle you with your ear to my heart, my palm holding your head close. You quiet as I hold you and you burrow into my neck so I can feel your breath and the wetness from tears on my shoulder.

I secretly love how affectionate you are when you are overtired like this, other times when i wrap you in my arms you struggle and kick like a little animal. ‘Reef, let me cuddle you’ I say and you grunt hard and push away like you need to be set free.

I know one day I will miss when the lines between us were so blurred we were almost one person.

And at times I am so eager for the little boy you are becoming that I can almost stand the growing part.

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