Wednesday, August 24, 2011


I am a “recovering” perfectionist, but only in recent years.  I like things to be just so and will work tirelessly to ensure everything I do is perfect.  (Ask me how many times I revised this post!) 

Motherhood is curing me of perfectionism because really, life with children, specifically an infant, cannot be lived flawlessly!  Since Keegan’s and Bailey’s toddler-hood, I am no longer on time for anything.  I suspect this will only worsen since Reef's arrival.  We don’t eat a portion of every food group at every meal.  My clothes often have some wrinkles.  I may or may not leave the house with mascara.  My house is in a perpetual state of disaster…unless you are coming over, in which case it all gets meticulously cleaned from floor to ceiling.  ...But even that obsession is loosening.  This is to ensure that at least there is an appearance of perfection, which appeals to the “recovering” side of my personality.

Strangely, I work hardest at appearing picture perfect when I’m getting together with other moms.  When prepping for playdates or school functions, I make sure my kids are dressed in clean clothes —coordinating outfits, if I can manage (which is oh, pretty much never!).  Their hair is neatly combed and socks match.  I even spend a few moments on my own appearance.  How silly is this and who do I think I am kidding? 

Why do I feel a need to appear like my life is a well-oiled machine and oh-so-perfect?  It most certainly is not!  Anyone with children knows it is not that smooth…at least not all the time.  And yet, I try to keep up the facade, hoping nobody catches on.  Ha ha -- bet you were fooled!

The irony of being a “recovering” perfectionist is that I want to be recovered completely and, well, perfectly.  I try to maintain the appearance of being laid back and carefree even as things are as well put together as I can manage.  Thus brings the question of whether I am truly “recovering” if I want to do it so impeccably.  Guess not.

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