Friday, January 28, 2011


In the week’s following my decision to merge households with Pete, the reactions of some of my most loyal friends were shocking.  Well, only one person really.  Most level-headed pals responded with “Congratulations!  How wonderful!”  Yet, a friend….who, by the way, desperately wants male companionship, who seeks the online ads for husband number two...quietly drifted off into the shadows.  No warning.  No closure.  Nothing.  A woman who I've shared several years of child-rearing, who I've conforted through breakups and vice versa –- can some people love me only when I’m miserable?  It seems my happiness served a panicky reminder to this lonely single friend that happiness eludes her.  Perhaps she feared my life would no longer have room for her.  Who knows!  Moving in together and getting engaged is a big step toward a new phase of life….definitely a test for whether or not friendships survive.
The good news is I’ve been granted membership into a new club.  My married friends have started crawling out of the woodwork – smothering me with attention, emailing me with marital wisdom and wedding-planning tips, and pestering me to bring Pete over to dinner.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011


I was recently browsing some repeats of Scrubs and ran into the wedding episode. I love the part where JD remembers making out with a “short” girl or…"maybe she was on her knees." Turk reminds him she was a midget. It was great stuff.

Well, I too am engaged! Yes, thank you, [bowing] thank you [turning and bowing].

You know, looking back, I never wanted to talk about it when Pete would bring it up. Marriage, that is. And it came up often. Imagine a child. Hands over ears. Humming. That was me.  Possibly eluding to Pete that I may not have wanted to marry him -- poor thing. I suppose I just knew that he and I are meant to be together – so why do I need a ring on my finger to validate that notion? Instead of pressuring the poor guy to propose, I relished in the fact that I’m with a man who constantly reminds me how much I am adored; a man who showers me with affection morning, noon, and night; someone who goes above and beyond to ensure my happiness –- it's so much more than what most people have.

Inevitably, however….it happened! Yep! And I’ve been over the moon since. My left hand is a daily reminder of Pete’s proposal –- well, the few phrases I can remember amidst the surprise -- I'm his "best friend" -- he's "never been happier" -- all in all, they were the most beautiful words and the very expressions of my feelings for him in return.

How we met was so simplistic -- through mutual friends. Yet, why we so cosmically drawn to one another, I will never have answers for. A relationship was the last thing on my "to do" list, as was his. All I knew was I had to at least give it a chance and it took a lot of persistent coercing on his part. But it was the best risk I ever took. You hear people say “when you know, you just know” and I never could make sense of that until Peter. I just always knew. I was pulled to him by some magnetic force that I had never before experienced. Even before I loved him, I loved him. There always was a spot inside of me, just waiting to be filled by him. And I’ve never needed anything else since.

Monday, January 17, 2011


So, I always thought I'd kick butt on The Amazing Race, until Saturday, when I went sledding.

The hill drops at a 90 degree angle and is about a kilometer from top to bottom. It's a death run people. (No, not really, but let’s pretend).  We innocently drive up to the top and park; the kids are barely able to contain their excitement. As soon as we exit the car, we know we're in trouble. This is uncharted territory people. Every step is agony. I trudge along in the back of the pack and I'm exhausted by the time we reach the top of the hill.

I decide to take Bailey on the crazy carpet with me for the last run of the day. She's 9 and apparently fearless since she agreed to double with me on a single sled.  First fist bumped and then take-off.  We were like freaking Chevy Chase in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation when he waxes his sled. Picture my legs sticking out the sides and a sheet of white snow covering us both as we travel down the hill at lightening speed. I am completely blind and screaming and I only know that she is still with me because I feel her boot under my butt.

I'm all like "I can do this!"

"I am woman!!" *Shaking fist in the air*

Until I realized I have to walk back up the hill.

Within minutes, inside my head sounds like this:

I can't do this.
I just want someone to pick me up and carry me.
Oh. Em.  Gee. I can't take another step.
This snow is up to my thighs.
I'm dying.
Should I hear my blood pumping in my head?
Maybe if I just lie down for a minute...
I wonder if my family will come looking for me if it gets dark.
I wonder if a coyote will eat my body if I just take a little nap.
How did those people who were stranded in the snow for days, survive?
I would totally give up. Within an hour.
But I'd volunteer to let whoever was with me eat my body. I'm nothing if not thoughtful.
I seriously cannot take another step.
Maybe if I crawl.

My dreams are shattered; I'll never make it on The Amazing Race.


Tuesday, January 4, 2011


Monday, January 3, 2011


Baby in the belly

Her stomach grows a little each day,
Fed by our love and the caring things we say.
We do not know you yet but I am sure you are sweet,
And we will be counting down the days till we finally meet
July 19th will not come that quick
At least not for mom as she is the one that often feels sick.
So until that day that we finally meet,
I will be humming a song and you will be tapping your feet.

And to your mom the best in the world
I will always love her as we paint our mural.
It is hard to believe we are creating life,
My best friend, my love, my future wife

Sunday, January 2, 2011


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