Sunday, March 11, 2018


I could give two hoots about the algorithm or trolls or monetizing. I can’t be bothered with making sure everyone see my posts or likes them or, even better, likes me. Or if my following is increasing/declining or if my filters are all in-sync or if my feed is maintaining the same look or theme or vibe. Blah. I don't have the energy for it. Because it means very little to me but this community is still my chorus.
Life feels fragile. My kids are growing at lightening speed, as I am -- so I just wanna document my ordinary here & write from my heart's riverbank & love the ones at my table well & invite you all in along the way. 

Saturday, March 10, 2018


In direct response to: "YOU are awesome! I love following your life on IG, FB, and your blog. YOU are such an inspiration & a beautiful person through and through. I hope we can see each other soon!" 

Listen up, people.

I am stuck between trying to figure out how to foster/adopt another child so we can do it all over again & “Let’s close up shop today!” My standard pendulum swings fast & far in this season of Motherhood. And it’s emotionally exhausting.

I can be high as a kite & ready to throw in the towel, all before 10am. I can walk into Target feeling like a badass & leave completely defeated. I want to raise independent free-thinkers but then I whine when they don’t ‘need’ me enough. I usually count down the minutes until bedtime, only to be eager to start all over again in the morning. I probably yell way too much & yet I’ve never loved bigger, better. I wonder if what I do each day even matters & still know that I am giving them the best childhood imaginable. I want our home to feel lived-in, all while I complain about the mess. I anxiously await for my kids to return home from school, only to make them go play outside or in their rooms. I am full to the brim & running near empty. I can doubt myself, my capabilities, my direction & remain assured in my gut that I got what it takes. I was born to do this. This is my true calling. But I kinda suck at it. Or maybe not. I still don’t know.

Gah. I flip-flop a lot. I struggle even more. And I often wonder how normal this is. And then when it all gets too heavy, I just give a long exhale and whisper “help me, Jesus.”
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