I’ve been sick for days now. My motivation lately has come to a screeching halt. I’ve ignored everything and everyone the past few days. I’ve also ignored phone calls, but that’s not new for me – I do that whether I’m writing or holding the phone in my hand. It’s so bad that my mom has replaced her normal, “Hi, how are you?” with “Hi, thanks for answering!” See, it’s not just you. I ignore phone calls from my own mother.
I have not ignored eating. That would be preposterous and ludacris (I actually like spelling ludicrous like the rapper–I feel like it gives me street cred with youngsters. Although since I just said “youngsters,” I’ve lost all street cred. It’s like one step forward and two steps back.) I digress.
One email I’ve tried to avoid was from one of my pastors (@bertsnyderiv) and his lovely wife, asking us to be a host home for our church’s outreach endeavor called “Greater.” Two sentences into the email, I pushed my chair away from my desk and walked away, telling myself "we don’t qualify! What is he thinking?!" The unfinished projects/remodeling makes it very clear where our priorities have not been. Our home is so very lived in that we practically have our guests sign a waiver, ensuring they 1) are nonjudgmental 2) possess no allergens to dog hair and 3) won’t file a lawsuit if injured by toys strewn amok.
I experience God’s faithfulness so clearly, all the time, and we are regularly called by the Spirit to extend ourselves more in community, yet I almost allowed a lapse of doubt and insecurity to paralyze me with fear all while questioning whether or not I have value to God and could He possibly use me? Can He use me? There are so many others who seem better qualified to host.
I’m learning this at a snail’s pace --> None can do the work He has prepared for me. And, none can do the work He’s prepared for you.
He has wired us uniquely, creativity, and passionately for the work He prepared for us (see Ephesians 2:10 if you don’t believe me). He’s marked out a course for us, the goal is the same, but the beauty is in the unique journey. Don’t let fear, insecurity, doubt, and comparison steal your resolve. Be you! Do the work! Remember His faithfulness.
I’m determined to cheer you on as you pursue the work He has made you for. (However, I probably won’t call. Expect a text.)