I’ve been sick for
days now. My motivation lately has come to a screeching halt. I’ve ignored everything
and everyone the past few days. I’ve also ignored phone calls, but that’s
not new for me – I do that whether I’m writing or holding the phone in my hand.
It’s so bad that my mom has replaced her normal, “Hi, how are you?” with
“Hi, thanks for answering!” See, it’s not just you. I ignore phone
calls from my own mother.
I have not ignored
eating. That would be preposterous and ludacris (I actually like spelling
ludicrous like the rapper–I feel like it gives me street cred with youngsters.
Although since I just said “youngsters,” I’ve lost all street cred.
It’s like one step forward and two steps back.) I digress.
One email I’ve
tried to avoid was from one of my pastors (@bertsnyderiv) and his lovely wife, asking
us to be a host home for our church’s outreach endeavor called “Greater.” Two
sentences into the email, I pushed my chair away from my desk and walked away, telling myself "we don’t qualify! What is he thinking?!" The unfinished projects/remodeling makes it very
clear where our priorities have not been. Our home is so very lived in that we practically
have our guests sign a waiver, ensuring they 1) are nonjudgmental 2) possess no
allergens to dog hair and 3) won’t file a lawsuit if injured by toys strewn amok.
I experience God’s
faithfulness so clearly, all the time, and we are regularly called by the
Spirit to extend ourselves more in community, yet I almost allowed a lapse of
doubt and insecurity to paralyze me with fear all while questioning whether or
not I have value to God and could He possibly use me? Can He use me? There
are so many others who seem better qualified to host.
I’m learning this at a snail’s pace --> None can do the work He has
prepared for
me.
And, none can do the work He’s prepared for you.
He has wired us
uniquely, creativity, and passionately for the work He prepared for us (see
Ephesians 2:10 if you don’t believe me). He’s marked out a course for us,
the goal is the same, but the beauty is in the unique journey. Don’t let
fear, insecurity, doubt, and comparison steal your resolve. Be you!
Do the work! Remember His faithfulness.
I’m determined to
cheer you on as you pursue the work He has made you for. (However, I probably won’t call.
Expect a text.)
In times of uncertainty and doubts, when you do not want to talk to anyone else, the God is definitely the one you should appeal to! As for me, it always helps. Good luck to you and looking forward for your new interesting posts!
ReplyDelete