Motherhood is both the greatest job and the also hardest job I've ever had. It has brought me immense joy and revealed to me a level of love I hadn't known before. It has also stretched me physically, mentally, and emotionally. Today, still, I live on less sleep than should be humanly possible. I've even learned more than I care to about PBA free bottles, single & double strollers, and diaper brands. While the physical stretch marks may fade, the ones on my heart are there to stay.
The pleasures are certainly many, but there are indeed are days when motherhood wears me down to the core. Some days, I'm not even sure I'll make it through to bedtime. When night time finally does come, my head hits the pillow hard, and I wonder what I accomplished all day. Because the job is never done, I'll wake up the next morning to the house still in disarray and mountains of laundry to wash. And based on the sniffles I've heard lately, certain illness looms on the horizon.
This is why I pray this pray for/with you. Because I have been there. Still there. We can’t do it alone. Just as we cannot live without water, we cannot do anything part from Him, including motherhood.
I come before you weary and beat down by this long day. I feel like I am a shell of the woman I used to be. My last shower was 3 days ago. Pretty sure I have peanut butter in my hair. I feel overwhelmed by the details of life. I don’t at all resemble the woman my husband married.
Instead of glorifying you, I am feeling sorry for myself. Forgive me for striving in my own strength. Forgive me for not finding complete satisfaction in you and the gifts you’ve given me.
Today reminds me of just how much I need a Savior. I want to feel beautiful, Lord. I want to feel like the words you reference me in the Bible -- Beautiful. Chosen. Cherished. Enough, in You. Renew a refreshed spirit in me. Give me gospel strength to get through the day. I pray that tomorrow you would be with me in all the muck and mire of motherhood. Help me to find joy in your and not my circumstances.
Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.
I loved you at your darkest. – Romans 5:8