When I get together with my various moms groups, you’d think we never get out of the house. We chat it up. Sometimes it entails too much information. It’s weirdly refreshing that we can throw around words like “diarrhea” or “slimy mucus” and no one bats an eye. But it’s great, and it’s always what I needed to re-charge, with encouragement and nurturing from like-minded mommies, that I’m not a total failure as a parent.
One mom friend said she’s finding it difficult to find her social footing as a mom, outside of our circle. She feels she faces a lot of judgment and ridicule for her parenting choices. Another friend recently said she finds it challenging to make friends because she’s at work all day, behind a desk.
Someone suggested meeting people at church, but another person rebutted that you can’t make friends in the church hallway while your two year is tugging and screaming.
One voice suggested joining a book club. But honestly, most of us probably haven’t read a book in three years.
How do you make friends when you have to choose between couch time with your husband or girls night out?
Who doesn’t feel like the odd mama out on the playground? Attempting to befriend the cool crowd, except there is no interest in letting a newcomer into the group.
Who hasn’t felt that burning glare from friends, family and stranger, all of who have an opinion about the way we parent and aren’t afraid to tell us? Tsk-tsk.
How do you make friends when the thought of inviting people over into your home causes you to break out into hives? When your plates are chipped and don’t match your mugs? When your living room sofa is stained with red Kool-Aid?
Sister, I don’t even pretend to know. I guess you just face your fear. You call and invite them and get to cleaning. You just serve that chipped dinnerware with a bottle of wine. Because hospitality is not the things you have or don’t have, right?!
Honestly, I know it sounds easier than it is. And really I need that advice for myself. I rarely initiate outings of my own. I suppose the point I am making is that we’re all mothers, and we should cut each other some slack. Just because we give birth doesn’t mean we stop having opinions, but it does mean that we are all as fallible as the next mom.
How do YOU make friends? What are your roadblocks?