Monday, September 8, 2014

JUST WRITING

 

There is a kind of tired that feels so good while it also hurts to not be able to move your legs from having walked so much over the weekend. The kind that comes after being busy. Togetherness. After having accomplished a fulfilling weekend. It’s hard to wake up and everything is screaming that I’m OLD, but it’s worth it.

Then this morning it was time to get the kids to school for week #3, and just like always, it hurts. It hurts to let them go in there and deal, you know? Just…deal. To learn to grow up with confidence and to navigate relationships on their own, finding their way around, feeling the nervous feelings, and doing stuff like, I don’t know…math. I mean, how did these babies grow to be kids who can learn to add and multiply? How do they even know their ABC’s. I was there for it all and now I can’t wrap my non-mathematical mind around the number of days and months and years.

I don’t have hours and hours at the moment, and I need more quiet for my soul. I don’t have time for a lot of quiet right now, and at the end of the day, we’ll be together again and that’s what I need most.

I’m going to go to work, walk through this day, telling myself all the good things we have, in each other, in the way their Daddy and I love them and work together to serve them. In the way they love each other. We just keep going, like we do. Just like you and you and you, we do the best we can in this moment. I’m out here doing that with you.

It’s the first day of the rest of our lives. It’s a gift, no? I think it is.





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