Thursday, October 24, 2013

COMMUNITY






The deeper my daughter gets into the core of junior high and high school, I begin to see a lot of same drama and cliques I remember throughout my own school days. And quite honestly, nothing has really changed about the conversations and goings on among girls at that age. For lack of a better word, many of them are just mean

We naturally operate out of created groups. From our instinctive desire to belong, I suppose. And looking back, I wasn’t necessarily part of like-minded groups. Instead, I was part of groups that, from the outside looking in, appeared ideal. Popular. Cool maybe.  And the sad thing is, they weren’t. They were cliques. And there’s no room for community in cliques.

It makes me sad at times, Facebook that is, because those same cliques still exist today. And there’s always someone on the inside enforcing the hierarchy of judgment on others to be allowed in. At the same time, I sigh in relief that I am no longer part of those groups. For the friends I have today are so mismatched for me…and we may not have been friends in junior high and/or high school. Our “reputations” and judgment would not have let that happen.

The people I call friends today are very much a community. All trying to do life well. Most, trying to follow Him. We take a chance on people – to see their heart, to know them and love on them.

Why let naysayers say you can’t be friends with someone?





12 comments:

  1. Oh you are so right! I wonder how I will deal when my boys face those tricks?!? although it's many years away boys are by no means exempt from the cliques! I too thank God for the friends placed in my life today! they are more like family than friends!

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    1. You're absolutely right! My 13-year old son experiences faces cliques from time to time, but it just appears less of an issue with him than our daughter. Boys, for the most part, are a little more passive...a little more forgiving. My son forgets and forgives a lot quicker than our daughter.

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  2. I struggle so hard with this! Cliques drive me utterly batty. As a rather shy adult, I find making new friends nearly impossible, both online and IRL!

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    1. Making friends is harder as an adult, I think, because we hold a higher standard to people we wish to associate ourselves. "You are who you friends are" stands a little stronger with us, especially as moms.

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  3. Hi Mandi, This is my first time at your site. I was grateful for this post today. My daughter has entered junior high school this year and we have to have many talks about this very subject. Teaching our daughters to use discernment and good judgement in making friends and decisions with all the pressure and to trust themselves and Gods plan for them, is sometimes difficult. I still find myself presented with some of these issues as an adult....some girls never outgrow their own insecurities... I look forward to reading more of your posts. Have a great day!

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    1. Welcome, Jeanne, I am thrilled you came for a visit. Honored, really!

      It sounds like you're on a very healthy path in guiding your daughter through these difficult times. I struggle, too, and I may not have all the right answers but I'm there for her when she needs an ear. And a shoulder.

      Are you a blogger? What is your blog link? I would love to know more about you.

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  4. New follower from BlogLovin'! Do you every feel like the blog world is kind of cliquy too? I've only been blogging for a few months, so I wondered your take on it.

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    1. The blog world can be very cliquey, too -- you're right about that. But my take on that, along with making friends, is that if we're meant to be friends, it will happen. I'm a big believer that God strategically places people in our lives at just the right time. But for varying reasons -- to provide us with a friend, to help teach us a lesson, to test our faith, etc.

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  5. Hi! It's sadly still like that in professional school as well, like high school all over again. I've learned that mean girls never really go away, but how you deal with them is different when you're 13 vs 30. I've just learned that some people will always be "mean" or "not nice" and it's just best to ignore it and play nice.

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    1. Love your perspective, Yasi! My dad has a saying relative to your comment - "it's not how you handle the ups, it's how you handle the downs." How you handle the not-so-pleasant experiences defines who you are.

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  6. I agree KelBel that the Blog world can be very cliquy. I have been blogging for years and you often find it at blogger meet ups. The world is the same even if it's the cyber world.

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    1. Kathy, I think that's exactly why I'm hesitant about attending meetups -- afraid of rejection. Or neglect.

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I am incredibly grateful for your comment! I will respond as soon as possible. XOXO, Mandi

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