Monday, September 16, 2013

FINALLY?!




A friend. Nearly forty. Still single. Whose Facebook is exploded with pictures of her and friends…at bars…dining…traveling…etc. We rejoice with her at her seemingly fun-filled life.

Well-meaning, I’m sure. But one comment bridled me the wrong way.

“So glad you’ve finally decided not to have any more children after this one. You can start having fun!”

FINALLY?!

When something finally happens, it is like everything up to that point was just waiting, surviving and watching for any sign that change is here to rescue the situation.

I am not wandering. I am not lost. I’m not waiting to find the Promised Land of milk and honey.
In fact, I already found it. My reality is very full and fun and even on the bad days, I’m not in a desert. I’m living. I’m loving. I’m being loved. I’m playing. I’m working. I’m often laughing. I’m cooking. I’m alive!
Tasks like laundry, nose-wiping, errand running, paying bills, juggling school activities, and job clocking are not burdens. They are ingredients for our fulfilled lives – for our spirituality. No doubt there are times that I crave the quiet hours because I can’t see through the haze of demands. But don’t be confused -- I am passionately wild about my family, even when the majority of our waking hours are spent in the everydayness of it all.

Quite honestly, I decline a lot of invitations outside our home life -- I’m doing my best to relish these youthful years with my husband – dating, wrestling, riding bikes. These baby years, these elementary years, these junior high years, for we have been told time and again how precious it all is, and how fleeting. And intrinsically, we know it to be true. And though they’re right, what scares me the most is that, deep down, no matter what, I know these are truly the best days of my life. I know I’m going to one day miss every single part of this. So much.





16 comments:

  1. Well said :) I think it is the hardest thing to find balance once you become a mother and to know that these times are so precious when your have little kids. I find such a varying degree of difference between myself and other moms but I know at the end of day I am happiest when I have made memories with my family. Sounds like you feel the same way.

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    1. I love the way you wrote this response -- so gently. And you're so right -- it's about finding balance, but it's also discovering that the priorities we set for ourselves when we're single and child-less are so greatly different after we achieve our title as "mother."

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  2. I do agree with u...well written.
    I don't feel like I'm missing out of things just because I'm a mother. I like the familylife, I'm living my life like I want too:)


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    1. So agree, Jeanette -- there's no better gift if you ask me! xoxo

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  3. I love how you say this! You're amazingly right! My life can get pretty hectic! I can get exhausted and frustrated and just down when the light seems so far away but I know, I KNOW the day I change my youngest nappy for the last time...I will cry! Because it's all gone so quickly! Although Hubby and I have said no more kids there will never come a day that I sigh relief that I'll never feel life inside me again. I'll never rest easy knowing I'm never going to hold my own newborn for the first time again! I'm never going to think 'Finally, I have my life back!' because I willing made my life about my kids and husband the moment they were a thought! My life will never be complete without them and knowing how much joy the bring I could never feel 'finally!'

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    1. I love, love, love that line "I willingly made my life about my kids and husband the moment they were a thought." Yes, amen, sister! If anything, that are the "finally," right?! Hugs to you!

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  4. That was a lovely post. I get what you mean. We just had our first weekend in three months with nothing on. Just my husband, our little boys and me. I was lovely. : )

    Louisa @ My Family & Abruzzo

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    1. I wish you many more weekends like that, Lulu! xoxo to you!

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  5. Eek that does seem extremely rude, well intentioned or not.
    At least you know what's important to you & won't be affected by others' opinions of what you should be prioritizing right now or ever.

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    1. Thank you -- I appreciate your response to my post. And it really does boil down to just that -- differing priorities.

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  6. SO true! Even though I may complain about being a stay-at-home at times, I wouldn't change it for the world!!! These ARE the best days of our lives :)

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    1. Yes, indeed! I don't stay home, but I sure admire those of you that do. Big hugs!

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  7. Amen. Every bit of this - yes.

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    1. Thank you, Whitney -- thank you for reading here, commenting here, supporting me. XOXO

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  8. I absolutely adore this post and felt every word of it wholeheartedly! So very true!!!

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I am incredibly grateful for your comment! I will respond as soon as possible. XOXO, Mandi

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