Sunday, April 7, 2013

my whiny blog post


Yesterday, I was in an internal uproar. I had some time all to myself and I wanted to write a blog post. I knew what I wanted to write, more or less, but I couldn't find a way in. And then I just stewed in my discontent and spent a lot of time on line and did a lot less than I wished.

The thing is, I'm the writing kind, and I need to write in order to be happy, but it's sometimes hard work to write that I get wrapped up in the difficulties and knotted up in not being able to write and just get, well, frustrated.

I have several incomplete projects, waiting for me to finish it. And it's like I am sitting on their chest -- not allowing them to take a breath. 

So here I am with my internal discontent, my thwarted creative jones, and this whiny blog post.

But I've learned something about my creative process through the years -- don't be so hard on myself for not being perfect.

Are you hard on yourself about anything in particular? 

29 comments:

  1. I actually enjoyed reading your whiny post because this is something I actually do often especially with homework and papers haha. I am hard on myself when it comes to my grades. In high school and before I had always strived for good grades and now that I'm in college, I'm not getting those A's that I used to. I have had to learn that college is hard and I'm just a freshman. It's okay to get less than A's as long as I stop procrastinating! Love your blog:)

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    1. While most everyone I know say they would go back to their childhood in a second, I am not on that boat. Like you, I was so incredibly hard on myself when it came to grades. Though I'm a mother now, I get more sleep than I did as a child -- stressing about tests and grades made me lose sleep at night. Never do I want to re-live those days.

      My advice to you is lighten your pressure and enjoy school -- appreciate your ability to learn, but ease up on yourself. Best wishes to you!

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  2. Oh yes! I am hard on myself about everything. I'm hard on myself when I don't take care of myself physically. I'm hard on myself when I'm not productive enough. I'm hard on myself when I'm not selfless enough. And in general I can be super hard on myself for the things that make me..me. I think I've identified this about myself recently and I'm actually creating plan of action to help me be more patient with myself and to be more kind about myself. Good luck to you! Just enjoy that puppy and all will be well! :)

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    1. I couldn't have said it better -- not being selfless enough. I feel like I'm always apologizing for not doing, giving, saying...

      Maybe I need one of those plan of actions, as you mentioned. :-)

      Thank you for commenting! I appreciate your insight.

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  3. **Since you have to approve comments, can you delete that last one because I didn't finish my thought and had one of those..and post this instead? Even with the random intro :)
    I am super hard on myself and I am working on a plan to get to a place where I can be more patient and forgiving toward myself as well as being kinder overall. I think if I were, I would be toward other people as well. It's hard to hear people tell you not to be hard on yourself. But I will say this, try to enjoy the time you spent doing WHATEVER it was you were doing rather than the time you think you should have spent doing a specific thing. If that makes any more sense than the last one. It's late :)

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    1. That makes complete sense -- I need to accept life as it comes, which is a daily effort for me. I get so wrapped up in how it "should" have been and how I could've improved upon it. Which is useless thinking, but it's the sort of stressful thinking I bring upon myself.

      Thank you for your words of wisdom, dear Sharlee -- thank you for visiting me!

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  4. I so could have written this post myself, I have been in the same spot many many times, and seriously feel like I am currently in a writing funk. I have written my entire life, it is my release and what makes me happy, but like you I am my own worse critic and because of this often have many unfinished projects as well. I hope that you have a wonderful week.
    www.mommysrambles.blogspot.com

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    1. Reading other blogs should be a necessity for us bloggers. Doing so on a regular basis allows you to appreciate the beauty of the written word, gives you inspiration, and more importantly, makes you a better writer. It opens you up to different styles of writing and helps you develop your own.

      Have a wonderful week yourself!

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  5. I so could have written this post myself, I have been in the same spot many many times, and seriously feel like I am currently in a writing funk. I have written my entire life, it is my release and what makes me happy, but like you I am my own worse critic and because of this often have many unfinished projects as well. I hope that you have a wonderful week.
    www.mommysrambles.blogspot.com

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  6. Dear Mandi,
    I am hard on myself too often, questioning my skills at work, at blogging, but above all at being a mom. I'm working on it though, and slowly I'm getting softer and more self-understanding.
    Thank you for this meaningful and honest post.
    Stop by whenever you like and share some love!
    xoxo
    Coco et La vie en rose
    Coco et La vie en rose on Bloglovin
    Coco et La vie en rose on Facebook

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    1. At least we have forgiveness and those that bestow a forgiving heart upon us. Without forgiveness, I would have failed at blogging, at work...and at being a mother.

      XOXO

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  7. So sorry you feel sad :(
    I can only sympathize with you as I find myself like this every day, I get caught up in a zillion things while trying to do the ones that I plan and end up not doing much...The only good thing is, I just got used to it, I'm not as frustrated anymore.

    Have a quiet, lovely Sunday.

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  8. I am hard on myself in every area. Even though I know that perfection is not possible, I still struggle with trying to be close to perfect.

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    1. What’s the old saying? “It’s not what you don’t know that will kill you, it’s what you don’t know you don’t know.”

      That. Or something like it.

      XOXO

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  9. Ohhh yes... I completely understand. I feel that way in regard to painting. I can get so irritated in moments where I lack creativity. Or sometimes I lack the patience to see my vision out. FRUSTRATING!!!

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    1. I can see so many similarities between painting and writing, and finding inspiration to forth works. You of all people must truly understand where I'm coming from.

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  10. I'm in a very similar place. I'm so discombobulated that I just took an entire week off from blogging so that I could hit refresh. I also have my second book sitting, just waiting for me to finish it. It's half way done. I'm hoping I'm out of this writing funk soon!

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    1. That's probably not a bad idea -- taking time off. I have a short vacation coming up next week, which will be the perfect time to detach myself from social media for a few days, at least.

      Which reminds me, if you're interested in guest posting while I'm away, let me know. :-)

      Delete
  11. Perfectionism, it is an ... well not ugly, but a hindering thing. The fear of not completing something perfectly hinders you from completing it at all. OR, like you mention, you don't complete something for one reason or another - and think you can start something else until you complete XYZ - I get it .. been there, and feel for ya :-) Great thing about blog land is that you find you are far from being alone in something :-D

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    1. You hit the nail on the head.

      "Great thing about blog land is that you find you are far from being alone in something."

      You ladies are angels to me -- your enlightenment and reminder that I'm not alone in my daily struggles shine a light upon hope and accomplishment. Love you for that!

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  12. I can be really hard on myself. The thing is, I know I'm the happiest when I decide things don't have to live up to whatever standards I had set in my head, they just have to make me happy. So I try to make that my new ruler. It takes lots of reminders and I even fail a lot at this. But I try.

    When I think about my favorite things none of them are perfect, they just make me happy.

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    1. Beautiful sentiment, "When I think about my favorite things none of them are perfect, they just make me happy." Love that, Tammi!

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  13. And? I'm there with you when it comes to writing. It may be for different reasons, but I hate it when I want to write and I can not. Just two days ago I wrote on facebook:

    And every time I start to write, someone cranks up the fire under the dancing chickens...

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  14. Absolutely- and I think it's so much easier to forgive others before we forgive ourselves. I have a hard time when I know I've done the wrong thing with my kids, they love me and move on but I replay it over and over. Luckily- tomorrow is a new day and we all get to start over fresh!

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    1. So fortunate are we that our children love us unconditionally. We are able to be down-right human with them, and they love us anyway. XOXO

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  15. I feel the way you do about unfinished projects. We actually just painted our living and kitchen this weekend {after for months it being a main final piece to the redecorating project} and the feeling of finally being able to rest came over me...it was weird. LOL. www.styleoyster.blogspot.com

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  16. I would never want to be hard on myself... but yeah i do need a push sometimes to execute my plans... i started blogging with the very fact that i dont want to loose myself in the journey of motherhood... atleast when i know i have to blog something... or something that i do can be blogged... i will get a kick to stand up n get going.. but sometimes i too have difficulties finding time to post whatever is on mind.. or whatever i plan to.. however its alot of learning around so i will keep up my journey of fighting time and will keep coming back with little that i have.

    http://loveyourselfmommy.blogspot.com/

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  17. I am not hard enough on myself sometimes! Just as bad, I know.

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  18. My daughter says I have creative OCD, and sometimes, she's right. Sometimes, I'm too afraid, too much of a perfectionist, to take the creative plunge playfully or passionately. I don't have a pat answer for how to get past our fear of creating, but I do know our need to create is as real as our need for love and light and variety... creating has a lot to do with our self concept. Lynaea @ EveryDayBloom.com

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I am incredibly grateful for your comment! I will respond as soon as possible. XOXO, Mandi

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