Thursday, October 4, 2012

journaling

Do you write in a journal?

I was given a journal during my first marriage.  I never once wrote in it.  Not. A. Single. Word.

It's like there were too many cobwebs in the closet.  Writing them down would get too messy.  Yet writing without mentioning them would be so incredibly artificial.  So the book remained empty.  I guess that was an accurate record of how I felt at the time.  Empty.

As soon as my first marriage ended, even that first week, I pulled out that empty leather-bound journal and began writing. About anything. About everything.

"Dear God, please help me to feel comfort, safety, peace in my re-newed life. Help me to have faith. Help me to feel whole. Help me to not need any ONE or any THING to feel peace and happiness...help me to feel fulfilled just being a child of God."

It makes me think a lot more about journaling. I think there's something extra going on there that we may not realize. It demands that we are true to ourselves. It demands vulnerability. It's very hard to fake anything in a journal -- it's a record of your soul.  And I think the act of writing in a journal (or the inability to write in it) can reveal a lot about us, if we will allow ourselves to admit it....


Rewinding…it felt so good to write it out. I was in the process of reclaiming my voice, and my voice got stronger and louder. And now my whole self is revealed right here on this blog. Whether you welcome it or not. ,)

What a difference, right?!

Do you have any thoughts on this?  Have you ever refrained from writing in a journal for a similar reason, or have you had the opposite experience?  I'd love to hear!  



Song: Heartlines   Artist: Florence + The Machine

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I am incredibly grateful for your comment! I will respond as soon as possible. XOXO, Mandi

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