Monday, September 26, 2011

BACK TO WORK

Everyone asks how I’m doing leaving Reef with the nanny and returning to work.  I explain that it’s like so many other things in life…it is what it is.  I don’t have a choice and instead of focusing on the negative, I’m focusing on the fact that #1) I have a job in this economy and #2) that we’ve found a wonderful nanny – it’s the best of both worlds, really.

I somewhat miss the fun at the office, of being a big beach ball with legs. Mornings being a challenge in dressing my baby belly, and later have coworkers awe in what I could stylishly throw together, proving that pregnancy clothes can still be cute and not necessarily come from maternity stores. And now…I’m just a regular ol’ working gal again.  

Anyhow.  I’m grateful to my coworkers who stepped in and picked up my slack while I was out.  But now it’s time to get back into a routine – no more lounging in pajamas and smothering “baby cakes” with kisses any time I want.  However, I enjoy the work that I do and earning a salary is part of mothering my kids.  My fear was wondering if I’d lost my professional mojo. I am used to being good at what I do, and I am generally able to juggle work and family life relatively well, but all of life’s little bumps in the road (i.e. the addition of another child, the scare w Reef’s hips, my hernia, my skin cancer, Keegan’s concussion, medical bills, etc) within the past 9 weeks had really rattled me. 

I woke this morning with the adamancy that I would squeeze my postpartum body into something office-appropriate and muster up the confidence to march into work as though I still got it.

I fought off most of the anxiety of it all by reminding myself that it’s good for our souls to stir the dust up a bit. Change brings growth. And our ultimate goal is growing little girls and little boys and this life we’ve made into something bigger than it is today.



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