Thursday, March 24, 2011

OH MY ACHING BUTT

I’ve had pain lately in my tailbone area and I haven’t been snow skiing, roller blading, much less running, in months. Early this week I could barely stand up from my generic black office chair on wheels without feeling this crushing pain in the tailbone region. A colleague has offered to bring me a back support pillow. Butt toning exercises, such as Kegels, help slightly. My cool yoga friend said he would send me some helpful stretches, but if you have any other suggestions, do share. If it gets any more geriatric over here we’ll have to pull out the bingo cards and hop on the casino bus to Tunica.

Speaking of youth (or lack thereof)…that fleeting feeling of being immortal, invincible, even irresistible. Short of things that are against the law, or just really bad for us, how do we recapture that feeling? Cosmetic procedures, that’s how! In my inbox today, there was advertising for all the youthening I can afford. One really captured my attention…laser hair removal. How nice that would be. Considering I can’t bend over (very well) or without squashing wee one.

The offer of the day is “Buy One Area Get 2nd Area For 1/2 Price”. Of course, the 1/2 price is for the “equal or lesser value” area. How exactly is this determined, this valuation of my hairy areas? Is it the quality of the hair? The quantity? And how does one get a handle on that before committing to the procedure? Is there an appraisal process? Does someone drive by the house and snap shots of me in unfortunate postures? Is there a hidden camera in the office bathrooms?

So much to ponder. It makes my brain feel tired, and old. There’s that word again. Damn you, “old.”

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I am incredibly grateful for your comment! I will respond as soon as possible. XOXO, Mandi

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