Sunday, March 11, 2018


I could give two hoots about the algorithm or trolls or monetizing. I can’t be bothered with making sure everyone see my posts or likes them or, even better, likes me. Or if my following is increasing/declining or if my filters are all in-sync or if my feed is maintaining the same look or theme or vibe. Blah. I don't have the energy for it. Because it means very little to me but this community is still my chorus.
Life feels fragile. My kids are growing at lightening speed, as I am -- so I just wanna document my ordinary here & write from my heart's riverbank & love the ones at my table well & invite you all in along the way. 

Saturday, March 10, 2018


In direct response to: "YOU are awesome! I love following your life on IG, FB, and your blog. YOU are such an inspiration & a beautiful person through and through. I hope we can see each other soon!" 

Listen up, people.

I am stuck between trying to figure out how to foster/adopt another child so we can do it all over again & “Let’s close up shop today!” My standard pendulum swings fast & far in this season of Motherhood. And it’s emotionally exhausting.

I can be high as a kite & ready to throw in the towel, all before 10am. I can walk into Target feeling like a badass & leave completely defeated. I want to raise independent free-thinkers but then I whine when they don’t ‘need’ me enough. I usually count down the minutes until bedtime, only to be eager to start all over again in the morning. I probably yell way too much & yet I’ve never loved bigger, better. I wonder if what I do each day even matters & still know that I am giving them the best childhood imaginable. I want our home to feel lived-in, all while I complain about the mess. I anxiously await for my kids to return home from school, only to make them go play outside or in their rooms. I am full to the brim & running near empty. I can doubt myself, my capabilities, my direction & remain assured in my gut that I got what it takes. I was born to do this. This is my true calling. But I kinda suck at it. Or maybe not. I still don’t know.

Gah. I flip-flop a lot. I struggle even more. And I often wonder how normal this is. And then when it all gets too heavy, I just give a long exhale and whisper “help me, Jesus.”

Thursday, February 15, 2018


I’ve been doing some soul-searching for a couple of years. I’ve also been saying stuff like that for much longer, so let it be known, I’m probably always doing some kind of in-depth introspection regarding various concepts about life because #introvert, and I love it because I’m always learning new things about the world, and measuring those things against what I know and am learning about myself is how I believe I’m becoming a better person (hopefully).

Here’s something I have learned: people are very proud of sarcasm. It makes us feel smart. And here’s why – it’s a form of irony, and irony, being a tool of humor, doesn’t click with everyone. Not everyone gets it. So being in on a joke that other people are not in on makes us feel elite, better-than, superior. I am better than you because I get sarcasm.

People are also very proud of their regular use of sarcasm. And this is something I don’t understand as easily. I think it ties into the feeling that it makes us smart, but getting sarcasm and using sarcasm all the time aren’t the same.

Once, many years ago, I was listening to a comedian interviewed on a recorded podcast. In this interview, they talk about the science and art of humor – what makes something funny and why. In this interview, the comedian says that he does not like sarcasm at all. He says that it’s an excuse for people to not be funny – to which he says, “then just don’t be funny.” You can still be a nice, kind, pleasant, and enjoyable person without having to be funny. 

I agree.

But this comment reminded me of the greatest book series ever written – Anne of Green Gables. In the book, there is a character introduced named Katherine Brooke. She is the vice principal at Summerside High School, where Anne has taken a position as the principal. She is described primarily as being sarcastic, one of Anne’s most despised traits.

Anne Shirley is the epitome of sincerity in a person. She makes her feelings known, and doesn’t understand the need to hide them behind snark, freshness, or sarcasm. Sarcasm, for her, is an excuse for people to not be real about their feelings, and she doesn’t understand that. Her openness with her emotions does invite hurt at times, but mostly, she’s a better person because everyone knows where they stand with her, and so they respect her for it. (And if you haven't yet seen Anne With an "E" on Netflix, it's binge-worthy. Just sayin'.)

Indeed, sarcasm is the opposite of sincerity, genuineness, and vulnerability. It is a shield, a facade, and an excuse to not be real with people.

How many times have I used it so I wouldn’t have to literally say, “You’ve hurt my feelings”?

How many times have I hurt others with such a bite or a sting by belittling them with that language?

Let me make sure everyone understands that I do believe there is a place in humor for sarcasm, but most people misuse it dreadfully. There are many times a statement of fact is not enough to have its effect on people, so we use irony, parody, satire, and sarcasm to make our point. Saturday Night Live has been around for over 30 years because it works. Mark Twain is Mark Twain because he knew this too.

But here’s the problem with those of us who use sarcasm on a daily basis with those we interact with the most: we’re not acting. We’re not performing for an audience that doesn’t know who we are, we’re doing life with people who know us and our feelings, so why do the words we say need to be dressed up with tools meant for literature or humor? The way sarcasm is meant to be used is not the way we use it every day. Frankly, we stealthy use it for hostility and disguise it as humor.

This is not literature or humor, this is life at home. This is reality with our loved ones. So when we use sarcasm, the only real thing we accomplish is widening a gap. That’s what irony is – a gap between what is said and what is meant. And it heightens one’s feelings of insecurity. I just recently learned that the Greek word from which we get our word for sarcasm literally means “to tear or rip off flesh.” This is not a productive way to grow relationships with people. It’s a great way to damage them.

Sarcasm is an excuse to not be funny. It’s an easy contingency for people who don’t know how to be witty. Wit exposes absurdities with sincerity and can connect concepts in a clever way that can result in humor.

At the risk of sounding trite: JUST BE REAL WITH PEOPLE.

So I’ve increasingly grown to disrespect the open use of sarcasm and the abuse of it as a method of communicating with those around us. It is a refusal to hold others accountable for the way they’ve made us feel, it’s not a mark of intelligence. It’s a weapon, used to cut others down, sting them for no reason so we can either make ourselves feel better or so we can share our feelings insincerely.

Just say what you mean. Mean what you say. Without being mean.

Let's hear your thoughts....

Tuesday, January 16, 2018


After so much journaling, thought, and prayer, I’ve decided my word of the year is Fearless.

But not in the fearless in everything I do kind of way.

More in the aspect of trusting God FEARLESSLY. Having no worry in my trust in Him, being willing to give up control, and surrendering more of my life to Him.

Especially as business owners, I think it’s so easy to grasp onto every aspect of owning a business and cling to it tightly. It’s incredibly easy to believe that you can do it all in your own strength, that you are in control of everything that happens, and that everything is a result of what you do.

In a way, it is… but it also isn’t. That’s the interesting thing about owning a business as a follower of Christ. There is this line of trusting God, but also not hustling and saying that “God will work it out”… It’s more of a mindset shift. We still have to put in the work, but we have to do it knowing that nothing is guaranteed, and also that God will use our business for His glory, even if we can’t always see it.

Really excited to dig deeper into following God fearlessly this year, and learning what it means to give up ALL areas of my life. Because ultimately, doing everything for His glory is the only thing I want in this life. :) To Him be the glory!!

Thursday, August 24, 2017


Occasionally, I find myself reading eloquent, powerful, soul-stirring words written by other bloggers and I think, “Who Do I Think I Am?!” Who would want to read my measly words? Surely the world has no lack of words and opinions and expressed thoughts, so it’s best I stay silent and live my life quietly; tending to my little people and my busy, sweet, blessed little life. So, I stop writing and toy with the idea of shutting down social media entirely.

Life then moves along just peachy for days, or weeks or even months. Until something happens that breaks my silence and makes me want to write again. Sometimes, it’s simply a need for a creative outlet. Other times, I have an experience like I had recently. I shared the story of a tender moment with the public on my Instagram page – feelings I was very hesitant to write about because I was worried someone reading would think, “who does she think she is?!?” or think I was trying to make myself sound holier than thou (trust me on this – I am far from holier than the least of the thou’s). Yet, I felt compelled to share. The response has been so beautiful and encouraging and uplifting.

Fact of the matter, when we share our real stories, we encourage others to share their own. We learn how to put aside the fear of “who does she think she is?” and pick up the courageous, authentic, truth-telling selves we were made to be.

I’m currently in the midst of a season in my life where I am battling the “Who Do I Think I Am?!” mentality on a daily (more accurately – hourly) basis. It involves me on a stage, in front of 1200 people. I will say this: it’s completely outside of my comfort zone. 

Even still, I wonder why anyone would think it was a good idea to actually think I could pull this thing off. Some really smart people are standing behind me and telling me I can (the question is – are these empty words or do they really believe this?). See! There is this whole “Who Do You Think You Are” thing that keeps banging around in my brain. I lay in bed and imagine the many, many ways I could blow it. Or the ways people may criticize. And I begin to wonder why I would put myself out there because, when you are out there, people can say some really mean things. The only way to silence the “Who Do I Think I Am?!” noise is to stay hidden and say no to ridiculous ideas.

Gracious, how boring would that be?!?

Saying yes to ridiculous ideas is my MO. I may do a terrible job of staying quiet and keeping my thoughts to myself but maybe, just maybe, that’s not what God wants of me. Maybe He places me in outlandish situations so that I can lean into Him and constantly feel inadequate in my own meager strength. After all, “Our purpose is to please God, not people” {1 Thessalonians 2:4}.

So, I’m shutting down the silly “Who Do I Think I Am” soundtrack and turning up the “I Am A Daughter of the King of Kings” anthem. 

Won't you join me?

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